Tips for Positive Single Parenting

Raising a child is undoubtedly one of the most stressful jobs you can have; let alone raising one by yourself.

Single parents are faced with the difficult role of being both mom and dad. Some people find themselves in this situation because of: divorce, death of a spouse, a parent in the military or simply a single person who wants to have a child without a partner.

Positive effects of single parenting

While raising a child alone can prove to be challenging, it can also benefit the child in many ways, as well. Here are some tips for single parents:

1. Teach your child independence and responsibility

Children who grow up in single parent homes are likely to take on more of the household tasks and are relied upon to take on extra responsibilities. This can help to encourage and foster maturity at an early age. Encourage independence with positive reinforcement and support.

2. Take advantage of extra bonding time

While having two parents is ideal, many times children are stuck in the middle when mom and dad do not get along. Children of single parent households avoid the stigmatism of arguing parents and tend to form stronger bonds with the existing parent. Take advantage of your extra time together.

3. Enjoy the benefits of a large support system

Many times children who are raised by only one parent are fortunate to have an extended support system. Family members and friends will often chip in to lend a helping hand with daycare, errands and mentoring. Rather than trying to take on the world by yourself, allow your family and friends to help out from time to time.

Challenges of single parenting

Even with all of the positive effects single parenting can have on a child, there are still many tough choices that need to be made for the family to survive. Here are some ways to cope with the challenges of raising a child alone:

1. Deal with financial issues

Unlike two-parent households, single parents must learn to budget all family and household expenses on one income instead of two. Often, this can create a strain, limiting or eliminating unnecessary luxuries. Teach your child the value of a dollar by setting up a chore-for-reward system. This will be fun for your child and also help you with household tasks.

2. Talk openly about dating as a single parent

Dating is hard enough when you're single; let alone having a child who will also be affected by your dating decisions. Before you start dating, you may want to sit down with your child and have open and honest conversations about your dating intentions.

3. Focus on positive choices

While not having a partner to argue with can be considered a good thing, not having the support of a partner can also be a challenge. You may feel alone or frustrated. If you're feeling a bit overwhelmed, stop for a moment, breathe and focus on the positive choices you have made. This can also help to show your child an example of your strength and help them feel safe.

Although you may be confused or overwhelmed with raising a child alone, here are some places you can look for support, not only with childcare but also for your physical, spiritual and mental wellbeing:

• Family and friends
• Community groups
• Single parent support groups
• Church
• Daycare
• Physicians
• Family therapists
• Health clubs
• Social services
• Your child's school

Remember, you're not in this alone. Take advantage of your personal power and be proactive in your child's life to prevent serious problems from arising. You alone have the power of choice to make the best decisions for you and your child.

References:

Baker, Dan (2003). Adapted from What Happy People Know. Retrieved February 13, 2008, from the Care2.com website:

http://www.care2.com/greenliving/six-tools-for-happiness.html.

Wolf, Jennifer (2007). How to Get Through the First Year as a Single Parent. Retrieved February 8, 2008, from the About.com website:

http://singleparents.about.com/od/newlysingle/ht/FirstYear.htm.

Wolf, Jennifer (2007). Positive Effects of Single Parenting. Retrieved February 8, 2008, from the About.com website:

http://singleparents.about.com/od/familyrelationships/tp/raisedsingle.htm.